Semi-Quarter-life Career Crisis

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

Ok, crisis is a bit dramatic, and I can only assume that I'm overthinking everything and self-inducing my own stress, but I am just in one of those funks that I can't seem to kick. I've just been doing a whole lot of re-evaulating my career and my goals and looking at the future, and all I have to say is that whoever said growing up was easy was a big mean liar.  

So here's my current nutshell:
-I have a B.S. and a M.S. and am not anywhere close to where I want or need to be financially
-I'm in a great job that affords me a lot of flexibility and control, but there's nowhere to move up
- I know that I have Terry to rely on, but I also want to be self-reliant.  Call me independent but that's just how I was raised.
-I can't help but think about moving again in 2012 and making another lateral career hop.  The moves make "moving up" close to impossible

I think that if I'm going to change my career path, the best option is going to be to go into the clinical side of the healthcare industry.  I've been looking into a Physician Assistant Program here in St Louis.  This has been on my mind for a while, which is why I started taking Anatomy and Physiology this semester through my work as it is a Pre-req.  Getting more and more wrapped around the idea of going back to school is just another set of stresses:
- More debt
- If I became a PA, I would essentially have a M.S. that I wouldn't use.
- It's a 2 year program that I wouldn't even be able to begin until fall 2012
- I have to complete at least 500 hours of direct patient care before I submit my application for the program

In the back of mind, I just keeping hearing: "You could do this. You could be really good at this.  You would have job security anywhere Bechtel moves us.  You would be in a field that would be rewarding both mentally and financially." 
But then with my actions, I'm just a scared bumbling mess.  I don't have the confidence to know that I want this 100%, so I keep second-guessing everything and self-defeating the idea before I even put it all in motion. 

....And while I'm writing this post, I got this.  Exactly what I needed at this very moment.  Thank you. 
"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."


Scientific Housewife said... Add Reply

I have a couple of friends that are PA's and it was grueling for them to do the schooling but they are happy with their new jobs (and paychecks, haha). Good luck figuring it out!

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