2/25/2011

Things NOT to do at the gym

So Terry and I are getting back into the gym groove.  After a 10-12 hour day at work, I want to go into the gym, get my sweat on, and leave.  The past few days though, I'm not sure if it's just a greater being trying to give me a laugh or get under my skin, but I have been very distracted during my workouts.  I would like to take the next few moments to express my opinions and see whether or not you agree.  If this is happened to you, I also need input on what you did as to not laugh outloud / yell / vomit. 

My list of things you SHOULD NOT do at the gym

#1. Grunt with any piece of equipment other than dead lift weights

Case in point:  I go into the Ab room to be annoyed greeted by Obnoxious Old Man (OOM).  After giving me the run down of the best string of equipment to hit, OOM proceeds to get on the machine closest to me and tell me he's going to up his weight for maximum workout potential (who says that?!).  Referring to my previous statement that I like to get in and get out....OOM was already on my "I really dislike you" list.  But then it starts...... "Uhhhhh...1....MMMMMM....2......Gaaarrrrr....3.....BUGHHHHHH....4.....AAARRRRR....5". 
THIS IS NOT OK.  Well, I mean, I get it if you're heaving 400 lbs of dead weight over your head...then you're aloud to grunt....but they have a separate room for that.....the Grunter Room.  Trying to get an audience to see that you are crunching 70lbs is inappropriate.  And annoying.  And distracting.

 #2. Inappropriate attire

Case in point: Previously mentioned OOM dressed himself for the gym by putting on his 12 year old grandaughters clothes. I don't know this to hold any fact...but I'd bet 90% of the gym would back it.  I can appreciate chiseled washboard abs just like the next person, but when the shirt sleeves are so tight you wonder how there can still be circulation to their arms, and it's princess pink....THIS IS NOT OK.  Negative attention is not attractive.  Same goes for you ladies....the gym is not a place to wear bikini tops. Or shorts so short you're not sure if they are trying to start a gym-thong trend.  Bleghhh...and men....Shorts even remotely close to exposing more than half your thigh....Please dont....THIS IS NOT OK. There is only one person in my book that could break this rule and I wouldn't judge.  Yah, I said it. 

#3. Exercise barefoot

Case in point: A dude was on a treadmill in front of me trying to jog walking barefoot.  How is that even allowed?!  And I really don't think I would have noticed at first except that I kept smelling something awful from in front of me.  Now, I promise, I do not and will not ever judge body odor at the gym.  Reak it up.  It's to be expected.  But foot odor.....THIS IS NOT OK. Put those things in some breathable cotton, get some sole support (make sure to tie those shoes up Extra Tight), and don't uncage those bad boys at least until you are in your car, although I would advise cracking your windows for asphyxiation prevention.

#4. Use equipment incorrectly (comedically)

Case in point: I was next to a replica of this two nights ago at the gym. Creepy smile and all.  While his form was remarkable, he looked like a prancing gazelle through the outdoors. Or a creepy dude with an above average gait extension.  THIS IS NOT OK. How am I supposed to concentrate on my workout when you are begging me to laugh?? But I couldn't even smile because he was one of those people that would have taken it as I was "in to him".  Oh yah buddy...I'm in to you all right.  You're right up my alley: Comedic Genius.  I'm all for trying out unfamiliar equipment in the gym, but you don't have to look exactly like the instruction manual model.

#5. Walk away from equipment without wiping it down

I was that person last night.  No, No, No....not the person who didn't wipe the equipment down.  I was the person who went running after the person who didn't wipe the equipment down to call them out and tell them to go back and wipe it down for me. THIS IS NOT OK. Sure, I could have wiped it down for him, but frankly, everyone should be responsible for their own filth.  You can be as disgusting as your want in your own privacy, but in public, you WILL clean up after yourself....at least if I have anything to do with it.  He was really nice about it, so naturally I felt like spawn of Lucifer for putting my foot down, but I've learned too many times that if you don't say something, it'll just keep happening.


Well, that's all my gym complaints for now.  I really hope this doesn't become a recurring post of my hilarity and annoyance while workin' on my fitness.
Any similar stories?  Any different ridiculousness?

3 comments:

Kim said... Add Reply

OMG, this sounds terrible! Umm, these really can't ALL be true can they? Dear god, find a new gym if they are and god speed man!

Alexa said... Add Reply

You have a crazy gym over there. Find a new one fast!

Allison said... Add Reply

hahahahaha oh god, those are horrible scenarios! can you add another? #6: the gym is not a competition to see which stranger can run faster on the treadmill/track/elliptical/etc. I swear I've noticed people racing me as I'm going at my own pace on the treadmill.

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