Officially finished holiday shopping!!!

This may be news to a few of you, this may be a well known fact to others, but it's a true statement none-the-less: I Hate Shopping.  There, I said it; feel free to be disgusted or throw stones, but I've tried and tried to enjoy it and to no avail.   The only shopping that I mildly enjoy is grocery shopping, and even that sometimes is a little much. 
Then, this modern miracle was invented that has completely revolutionized (ok, my dramatic dial is a little high right now, but bear with me) shopping for me; the internet!!  I fought the whole online-shopping thing for a while, making excuses that what it cost in shipping was too much and I'd rather Scrooge my way through the crowds. 
Then I started realizing how much of a process the whole debaucle is:
-driving to the mall, dealing with traffic
-circling 20 minutes to try and find a parking spot
-getting evil eyes from someone who felt that the parking spot should have been theres
-walking into the mall and feeling guilty for not dropping money in the Salvation Army bucket and that poor person is wiggling around shaking that bell meanwhile freezing to death
-going to get your first gift on the list to find out it's sold out (bc this is bound to happen...you know it's true)
-trying to walk through the maze of people who are either in the same frenzied shopping zone that I'm in, or the ones that are just there to mozey along and be in the way (for the record, why is it that people know which side of the road to drive on, but yet you get them in a mall and 50% walk in the "oncoming traffic" direction...baffles me)
-walking anywhere near the vicinity of the food court and you get attacked by the asian restaurant man with chicken samplers
-while in the food court, can't find a table to sit at to eat your food you've just stood 10 minutes in line for, so you stand (at this point probably with two or three bags) on the side, out of traffic, and people still run into you
-walk around a bit and finally find a bench to sit down on, then someone comes and sits next to you that is convinced you want to know their life story and will not let you get a word in edge-wise to tell them you are not interested in why she gained 45 lbs from weight watchers or why her son stays up crying for his daddy when he's never met the good-for-nothing before (ok, so maybe this one is just me, but it has happened more than once at the mall and so I do not sit down on benches anymore)
-pray to high heavens that you do not run into or step on any of the hundred stray children running and squealing through the crowds unsupervised
-finally decide to leave, check your list twice, get out to your car (which someone has been stalking behind you with a give-room of about 6 inches to claim dibs on your parking space), put the key in the ignition and suddenly realize that you forgot that one gift that you didn't write on your list because you were so sure you would remember it, sit there for 30 seconds cursing and trying to decide whether or not to go back in through all the previous mentioned bullets to get said item, the car-stalker starts honking their horn after 31 seconds to make sure that you are alive and moving out of what they now consider to be their spot....

AHHHHHHHHH (that's me screaming from insanity)

but then.....  Ahhhhhhhhh  ...that's me with a nice relaxing breath as I scroll through holiday bargains, free shipping, gift ideas I never would have originally thought of, all while sitting comfortably at home.  I think I feel my Christmas Spirit coming back.

Merry Christmas to all.....your gifts will be arriving in 5-7 business days.....with lots of love and joy. 


Anonymous said... Add Reply

Seriously just outloud laughed. You're ridiculous. And hilarious. Heart You!

Kelly said... Add Reply

Haaaahahaha!! "wiggling around shaking that bell"

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